Social Etiquette for Men (And Also Women):

Let’s start with a hot topic recently regarding sexual contact: If she or he says no or is not into it or stays completely silent or is incapacitated by drugs or alcohol – don’t do it. Men and women can be guilty of rape or have it committed against them and in order to avoid this it’s important to always communicate with a potential partner and ensure that everyone involved is comfortable. It is also important to know your limits in terms or drug and alcohol use. Many raped and rapists don’t remember because they blacked out, so it’s a good idea to avoid that state of inebriation in general.

Basically, be careful not to do anything that, if it were to happen to someone close to you/ a loved one, you would be furious. Treat others the way you want to be treated kind of deal. Like catcalling, for example, if someone started yelling crude sexual profanities at your sister or your mother how would that make you feel? Not great I’m betting so maybe don’t do it. “Try not to be a misogynistic twatwaffle.” Not all of this is necessarily limited to men, however.

Let’s not get too heavy handed with the gender roles. “Keep your eyes on a woman’s face and pay attention to what she’s saying.” This is not limited to purely male-female interactions, it is in general good to listen to whoever is speaking to you and to be actively engaged. All sexes and sexualities should strive to not view another person as admirable body parts or a “piece of meat.”

“The community does not teach respect for women, and that is something many guys have to *work* to learn after leaving. Inherent in The Life is a disgust for and degradation of all things inherently female (i.e. this is so sacred we can’t talk about it – periods, birth, the hormonal roller coaster that is many women’s lives, etcetera). This culminates in the purity culture and patriarchal power structure with which we are so familiar. Realize that this approach is twisted and certainly counterproductive to any kind of healthy social interaction. Those that fail to learn will probably fail to have meaningful relationships.

Your worldview needs to include women as individuals, with opinions, feelings, needs and desires that you can’t assume you know anything about. The key to successful interactions is respect!”

Don’t get involved with any criminal activity, minor or major. I know, it sounds stupid, but for some people who just left the Commune with a chip on their shoulder, the temptation to push the limits is there. (It was with me, for sure.) Getting caught for something dumb like shoplifting or using drugs can come back to haunt you in this Internet Age. It could land you in jail and could cost you a good job down the road.

Be patient with yourself, learn to love yourself, and learn to really understand yourself.